Secondary Infertility After One Child

"Ohk Nigerians in particular n this is to everyone who makes such comments,i haaaaaate hate hate when I hear pple say: Omo yi ti to gba aburo(Ur child is due for a Sibling) Like. Seriously Don't u think she knows dat? Do u even have a clue what she's going thru fertility wise or what she went thru to have d 1 u all seeing n requesting for Anoda.Not everyone of us is lucky to want to be preggy n Wham we preggy.Not everyone wants a football team for kids.We need to know what to say to pple especially stuffs that are None of our bizness"

The above statement was posted by my friend Hajara on her Facebook page and I totally saw sense in what she was saying. This is because even unknowingly many of us are guilty of having made such assumptions one time or the other either jokingly or seriously.

Most times when you see a couple that have just one child who seems to be above 3-5 years old or more and they don't have another child yet trust me its not because they haven't been trying. Personally, there is a 3 year gap between my first and second child and it wasn't because I was doing family planning or child spacing. In fact in between those 3 years I got pregnant once but had a miscarriage before getting pregnant the year after to the glory of God.

I have come to realize that the pressure of having one child and not having another after a long while is almost like the pressure of not having a child at all. I know some of you might want to disagree with me but I have seen what having no child or just one child has done to so many families. 

Case in point is a childhood friend who has a 10 year old child and has been married for 11 years, she called me about 2 years ago to tell me she found out her husband has 2 kids outside their marriage with another woman. He never even told her and she stumbled across the truth. In the heat of their argument he said how can he have 'only' 1 child on earth and that was the reason he had to step out.

Imagine how she must have felt and is still feeling because now 3 years after the incident she is yet to get pregnant and has tried all sorts and gone for various medical tests and the results still keeps being that there is nothing wrong with her medically.

This situation even has a medical name called Secondary Infertility which is when a woman is unable to get pregnant or carry another child to term after having one child. So please let us be more sensitive when relating with people in this situation because it is a lot of emotional and psychological trauma.

And to anyone going through Secondary Infertility, remain strong and thankful to God for the child you already have and remember there is someone that doesn't even have any child at all and would switch places with you in a split second.

I also hope the video below from a doctor's point of view also helps. 

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